Me vs Me

I dream of gloomy sunshine
And yet love the serenity of the placid.
Touch the sky
And just get melt away in the turf.

I wanna embrace me
And yet turn into their unsaid expectations.
Have the courage to learn
And run away from learning.

I wanna offer a shoulder
And yet the yearning for a hug screams like a baby.
Respond with grace
And judge you for your stupidity.

I wanna be a savvy
And yet wanna shout the stupidity in me.
Be whole and solaced
And carry the wound of my pretense.

And yet I dwelled in duality
Duality in me
Tussled back and forth
Despised mutual reality
Somehow
I dwelled in duality
Duality in me.