Yet another rant!

Am I ever going to come out of it?
Why is it always a ray of hope?
The life of pure self-rejection.
Pure dependence.
The utter mediocrity of it.
The feeling of sheer helplessness.
The pain so unendurable that you want to puke.
Despite seeing the horror of it.
Still there.
Helpless and tired.
Moving away from oneself.
Why do I feel so helpless?
So tired.
So unwanted.
Day 1.
The need.
The pain that comes with it.
The scars you can’t resolve.
The scars you can’t carry.
Things that happen without you knowing them.
Things that happen without you wanting them.
Just a feeling of utter helplessness and shear rejection